Jump to content
gubben4906

Dagens skämthistoria

Recommended Posts

ellim63

 

FÖRDELAR MED ATT PASSERAT  50 😎
1) Kidnappare är inte särskilt intresserade av dig. 
2) I en gisslan-situation är du troligtvis en av de första som blir släppt. 
3) Ingen förväntar att du springer - nånstans- överhuvudtaget. 
4) Folk som ringer kl.09 på morgonen, kan gott få fråga: " Väckte jag di...g?"  
5) Folk ser inte längre på dig som en hypokondriker. 
6) Du har inte mer ...att lära dig på det hårda sättet. 
7) Något av de sakerna du köper nu, håller resten av livet. 
😎 Du kan klara dig utan sex, men inte utan dina glasögon. 
9) Du ser inte längre en fartbegränsning som en begränsning. 
10) Du har slutat med att hålla magen inne, oavsett vem som går förbi. 
11) Dina hemligheter, som du delar med vänner, stannar kvar hos dom. För dom kan inte komma ihåg dom. 
12) Antalet nya hjärnceller du får, är äntligen nere på en nivå som du kan hantera.
13) Du kommer inte ihåg vem som har sänt dig denna listan, men skicka den vidare innan du glömmer det

  • Ge karma 1
  • Fint 2
  • Haha 6

Share this post


Link to post
audirs2
5 timmar sedan, skrev Surin P3:

MEN ARE JUST HAPPY PEOPLE

This needs no explanation - and is a fun read, no matter your gender.
Men Are Just Happier People !
What do you expect from such simple creatures ? Your last name stays
put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of
themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never
have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too
icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
bolt. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress - $5,000. Tux rental - $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them New shoes
don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone
conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own
jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If
someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your
underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than
enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable
to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original
colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have
to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes - one
colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs
look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of
choice concerning growing a moustache... You can do Christmas
shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men
are happier !

NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $ 20,
even though it's only for $ 32.50 . None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, outcome the pocket calculators.

MONEY
· A man will pay $ 2 for a $ 1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $ 1 for a $ 2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
sale.

BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337 A
man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't .
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
· Men wake up as good - looking as they went to bed.
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret
fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!
So, send this to the women who have a sense of humour .... and to the
men who will enjoy reading.

Its so fucking truth! :)

  • Fint 1

Share this post


Link to post

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...